3:26 PM Two and a Half Men (2003) | ||||||||||
 Two and a Half Men (Two and a Half Men)Two adults. One kid. No grown-ups.
OverviewA hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house. Watch NowSeasons & Episodes
Season 1 (24 Episodes) ▼
E1: Pilot▶ PLAY E2: Big Flappy Bastards▶ PLAY E3: Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell▶ PLAY E4: If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap▶ PLAY E5: The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump▶ PLAY E6: Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?▶ PLAY E7: If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake▶ PLAY E8: Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful▶ PLAY E9: Phase One, Complete▶ PLAY E10: Merry Thanksgiving▶ PLAY E11: Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor▶ PLAY E12: Camel Filters and Pheromones▶ PLAY E13: Sarah Like Puny Alan▶ PLAY E14: I Can't Afford Hyenas▶ PLAY E15: Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick▶ PLAY E16: That Was Saliva, Alan▶ PLAY E17: Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats▶ PLAY E18: An Old Flame with a New Wick▶ PLAY E19: I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You▶ PLAY E20: Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark▶ PLAY E21: No Sniffing, No Wowing▶ PLAY E22: My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet▶ PLAY E23: Just Like Buffalo▶ PLAY E24: Can You Feel My Finger?▶ PLAY
Season 2 (24 Episodes) ▼
E1: Back Off, Mary Poppins▶ PLAY E2: Enjoy Those Garlic Balls▶ PLAY E3: A Bag Full of Jawea▶ PLAY E4: Go Get Mommy's Bra▶ PLAY E5: Bad News from the Clinic?▶ PLAY E6: The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance▶ PLAY E7: A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana▶ PLAY E8: Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers▶ PLAY E9: Yes, Monsignor▶ PLAY E10: The Salmon Under My Sweater▶ PLAY E11: Last Chance to See Those Tattoos▶ PLAY E12: A Lungful of Alan▶ PLAY E13: Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)▶ PLAY E14: Those Big Pink Things with Coconut▶ PLAY E15: Smell the Umbrella Stand▶ PLAY E16: Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?▶ PLAY E17: Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!▶ PLAY E18: It Was Mame, Mom▶ PLAY E19: A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise▶ PLAY E20: I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey▶ PLAY E21: A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On▶ PLAY E22: That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother▶ PLAY E23: Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab▶ PLAY E24: Does This Smell Funny to You?▶ PLAY
Season 3 (24 Episodes) ▼
E1: Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts▶ PLAY E2: Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover▶ PLAY E3: Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark▶ PLAY E4: Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs▶ PLAY E5: We Called It Mr. Pinky▶ PLAY E6: Hi, Mr. Horned One▶ PLAY E7: Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop▶ PLAY E8: That Voodoo That I Do Do▶ PLAY E9: Madame and Her Special Friend▶ PLAY E10: Something Salted and Twisted▶ PLAY E11: Santa's Village of the Damned▶ PLAY E12: That Special Tug▶ PLAY E13: Humiliation Is a Visual Medium▶ PLAY E14: Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded▶ PLAY E15: My Tongue is Meat▶ PLAY E16: Ergo, the Booty Call▶ PLAY E17: The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer▶ PLAY E18: The Spit-Covered Cobbler▶ PLAY E19: Golly Moses, She's a Muffin▶ PLAY E20: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro▶ PLAY E21: And the Plot Moistens▶ PLAY E22: Just Once with Aunt Sophie▶ PLAY E23: Arguments for the Quickie▶ PLAY E24: That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite▶ PLAY
Season 4 (24 Episodes) ▼
E1: Working for Caligula▶ PLAY E2: Who's Vod Kanockers?▶ PLAY E3: The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress▶ PLAY E4: A Pot Smoking Monkey▶ PLAY E5: A Live Woman of Proven Fertility▶ PLAY E6: Apologies for the Frivolity▶ PLAY E7: Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head▶ PLAY E8: Release the Dogs▶ PLAY E9: Corey's Been Dead for an Hour▶ PLAY E10: Kissing Abraham Lincoln▶ PLAY E11: Walnuts and Demerol▶ PLAY E12: Castrating Sheep in Montana▶ PLAY E13: Don't Worry, Speed Racer▶ PLAY E14: That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami▶ PLAY E15: My Damn Stalker▶ PLAY E16: Young People Have Phlegm Too▶ PLAY E17: I Merely Slept with a Commie▶ PLAY E18: It Never Rains in Hooterville▶ PLAY E19: Smooth as a Ken Doll▶ PLAY E20: Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot▶ PLAY E21: Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous▶ PLAY E22: Mr. McGlue's Feedbag▶ PLAY E23: Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'▶ PLAY E24: Prostitutes and Gelato▶ PLAY
Season 5 (19 Episodes) ▼
E1: Large Birds, Spiders and Mom▶ PLAY E2: Media Room Slash Dungeon▶ PLAY E3: Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo▶ PLAY E4: City of Great Racks▶ PLAY E5: Putting Swim Fins on a Cat▶ PLAY E6: Help Daddy Find His Toenail▶ PLAY E7: Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room▶ PLAY E8: Is There a Mrs. Waffles?▶ PLAY E9: Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids▶ PLAY E10: Kinda Like Necrophilia▶ PLAY E11: Meander to Your Dander▶ PLAY E12: A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh▶ PLAY E13: The Soil Is Moist▶ PLAY E14: Winky-Dink Time▶ PLAY E15: Rough Night in Hump Junction▶ PLAY E16: Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty▶ PLAY E17: Fish in a Drawer▶ PLAY E18: If My Hole Could Talk▶ PLAY E19: Waiting for the Right Snapper▶ PLAY
Season 6 (24 Episodes) ▼
E1: Taterhead Is Our Love Child▶ PLAY E2: Pie Hole, Herb▶ PLAY E3: Damn You, Eggs Benedict▶ PLAY E4: The Flavin' and the Mavin'▶ PLAY E5: A Jock Strap in Hell▶ PLAY E6: It's Always Nazi Week▶ PLAY E7: Best H.O. Money Can Buy▶ PLAY E8: Pinocchio's Mouth▶ PLAY E9: The Mooch at the Boo▶ PLAY E10: He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited▶ PLAY E11: The Devil's Lube▶ PLAY E12: Thank God for Scoliosis▶ PLAY E13: I Think You Offended Don▶ PLAY E14: David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie▶ PLAY E15: I'd Like to Start with the Cat▶ PLAY E16: She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime▶ PLAY E17: The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?▶ PLAY E18: My Son's Enormous Head▶ PLAY E19: The Two Finger Rule▶ PLAY E20: Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau▶ PLAY E21: Above Exalted Cyclops▶ PLAY E22: Sir Lancelot's Litter Box▶ PLAY E23: Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth▶ PLAY E24: Baseball Was Better with Steroids▶ PLAY
Season 7 (22 Episodes) ▼
E1: 818-jklpuzo▶ PLAY E2: Whipped Unto the Third Generation▶ PLAY E3: Mmm, Fish. Yum.▶ PLAY E4: Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator▶ PLAY E5: For the Sake of the Child▶ PLAY E6: Give Me Your Thumb▶ PLAY E7: Untainted by Filth▶ PLAY E8: Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.▶ PLAY E9: Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair▶ PLAY E10: That's Why They Call It Ball Room▶ PLAY E11: Warning, It's Dirty▶ PLAY E12: Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste▶ PLAY E13: Yay, No Polyps!▶ PLAY E14: Crude and Uncalled For (1)▶ PLAY E15: Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)▶ PLAY E16: Tinkle Like a Princess▶ PLAY E17: I Found Your Moustache▶ PLAY E18: Ixnay on the Oggie Day▶ PLAY E19: Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave▶ PLAY E20: I Called Him Magoo▶ PLAY E21: Gumby with a Pokey▶ PLAY E22: This Is Not Gonna End Well▶ PLAY
Season 8 (16 Episodes) ▼
E1: Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud▶ PLAY E2: A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer▶ PLAY E3: A Pudding-Filled Cactus▶ PLAY E4: Hookers, Hookers, Hookers▶ PLAY E5: The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel▶ PLAY E6: Twanging Your Magic Clanger▶ PLAY E7: The Crazy Bitch Gazette▶ PLAY E8: Springtime on a Stick▶ PLAY E9: A Good Time in Central Africa▶ PLAY E10: Ow, Ow, Don't Stop▶ PLAY E11: Dead from the Waist Down▶ PLAY E12: Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead▶ PLAY E13: Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup▶ PLAY E14: Lookin' for Japanese Subs▶ PLAY E15: Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak▶ PLAY E16: That Darn Priest▶ PLAY
Season 9 (24 Episodes) ▼
E1: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt▶ PLAY E2: People Who Love Peepholes▶ PLAY E3: Big Girls Don't Throw Food▶ PLAY E4: Nine Magic Fingers▶ PLAY E5: A Giant Cat Holding a Churro▶ PLAY E6: The Squat and the Hover▶ PLAY E7: Those Fancy Japanese Toilets▶ PLAY E8: Thank You for the Intercourse▶ PLAY E9: Frodo's Headshots▶ PLAY E10: A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes▶ PLAY E11: What a Lovely Landing Strip▶ PLAY E12: One False Move, Zimbabwe!▶ PLAY E13: Slowly and in a Circular Fashion▶ PLAY E14: A Possum on Chemo▶ PLAY E15: The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack▶ PLAY E16: Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy▶ PLAY E17: Not in My Mouth!▶ PLAY E18: The War Against Gingivitis▶ PLAY E19: Palmdale, Ech▶ PLAY E20: Grandma's Pie▶ PLAY E21: Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'▶ PLAY E22: Why We Gave Up Women▶ PLAY E23: The Straw in My Donut Hole▶ PLAY E24: Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!▶ PLAY
Season 10 (23 Episodes) ▼
E1: I Changed My Mind About the Milk▶ PLAY E2: A Big Bag of Dog▶ PLAY E3: Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt▶ PLAY E4: You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For▶ PLAY E5: That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam▶ PLAY E6: Ferrets, Attack!▶ PLAY E7: Avoid the Chinese Mustard▶ PLAY E8: Something My Gynecologist Said▶ PLAY E9: I Scream When I Pee▶ PLAY E10: One Nut Johnson▶ PLAY E11: Give Santa a Tail-Hole▶ PLAY E12: Welcome to Alancrest▶ PLAY E13: Grab a Feather and Get in Line▶ PLAY E14: Run, Steven Staven! Run!▶ PLAY E15: Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It▶ PLAY E16: Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby▶ PLAY E17: Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries▶ PLAY E18: The 9:04 from Pemberton▶ PLAY E19: Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon▶ PLAY E20: Bazinga! That's From a TV Show▶ PLAY E21: Another Night with Neil Diamond▶ PLAY E22: My Bodacious Vidalia▶ PLAY E23: Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped▶ PLAY
Season 11 (22 Episodes) ▼
E1: Nangnangnangnang▶ PLAY E2: I Think I Banged Lucille Ball▶ PLAY E3: This Unblessed Biscuit▶ PLAY E4: Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank▶ PLAY E5: Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003▶ PLAY E6: Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants▶ PLAY E7: Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie▶ PLAY E8: Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.▶ PLAY E9: Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer▶ PLAY E10: On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!▶ PLAY E11: Tazed in the Lady Nuts▶ PLAY E12: Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.▶ PLAY E13: Bite Me, Supreme Court▶ PLAY E14: Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe▶ PLAY E15: Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin▶ PLAY E16: How to Get Rid of Alan Harper▶ PLAY E17: Welcome Home, Jake▶ PLAY E18: West Side Story▶ PLAY E19: Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang▶ PLAY E20: Lotta Delis in Little Armenia▶ PLAY E21: Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot▶ PLAY E22: Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead▶ PLAY
Season 12 (16 Episodes) ▼
E1: The Ol' Mexican Spinach▶ PLAY E2: A Chic Bar in Ibiza▶ PLAY E3: Glamping in a Yurt▶ PLAY E4: Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight▶ PLAY E5: Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.▶ PLAY E6: Alan Shot a Little Girl▶ PLAY E7: Sex with an Animated Ed Asner▶ PLAY E8: Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey▶ PLAY E9: Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey▶ PLAY E10: Here I Come, Pants!▶ PLAY E11: For Whom the Booty Calls▶ PLAY E12: A Beer-Battered Rip-Off▶ PLAY E13: Boompa Loved His Hookers▶ PLAY E14: Don't Give a Monkey a Gun▶ PLAY E15: Of Course He's Dead (1)▶ PLAY E16: Of Course He's Dead (2)▶ PLAY Cast Ashton Kutcher Walden Schmidt  Jon Cryer Alan Harper  Conchata Ferrell Berta | ||||||||||
| Category: Comedy | Views: 9 | Added by: farrel | Tags: | Rating: 0.0/0 |
| Total comments: 0 | |